I met up with K the following day after my experience with the five dollar man. He wanted to know all about it.

So far I had found K a bit confusing. In the beginning, I provided the usual caveat: I am not emotionally available. I do not want a boyfriend, I don’t want to play the game. ‘That suits me’. A single dad working long hours this seemed to be the perfect arrangement. Something wasn’t quite right though and I couldn’t put my finger on it. We met at a bar and immediately he had a ton of questions. I liked the fact that he wanted to hear my stories, it made me feel like we were co conspirators. When he went to the bathroom I started chatting with the bartenders. It was Easter weekend and all of us being agnostic, a few quips were exchanged. When he got back he wanted to know what we were talking about but it was time to leave.

In the elevator, before we even reached the apartment he put his fingers into my pussy (K’s word). No kissing, no foreplay. He knew what he had come for and he was going to get it. I liked that. Maybe he was checking to see if the fruit was ripe (it was).
‘That girl wants to fuck you’. ‘That’s okay’ I said. What else was I going to say? I didn’t know if it were true but given the right circumstances I might take an opportunity to have sex with a woman like that. She was objectively beautiful. ‘No she really wants to fuck you’. I was nonplussed. Was this part of foreplay? Should I have run with it and verbalized whatever fantasy had begun to spring into his mind? Only in hindsight did this occur to me.

I poured us a whiskey and when I turned around he was completely naked on the couch rubbing his cock which was fully erect. Being clothed, I had a bit of catching up to do. ‘I’m going to make you suck my cock and you better get ready because you’re going to be there for a long time and then I’ll let you fuck me’. I liked being told what to do and I did it. He pulled my hair and I became his pet. After a while he let me climb on top of him and it felt hot. I bit his neck a little but he made me stop. (There is an animalistic element to raw sex that is part of the process of letting go, the best bit of all so I was a bit disappointed that I had to hold back). Then, I went back to the bj. He grabbed my hair again and forced me to suck harder and deeper. He came. I did not. He was right though, I was there for a long time.

We got dressed immediately and without any kisses or fond words we each downed a shot and he left. Actually we didn’t kiss the whole time and I wasn’t sure how I felt about it except that I had just officially had sex with zero intimacy and I was fine. I did some laundry, read a book and then went for a walk.

The next day I had nasty carpet burns on my knees which ultimately took weeks to heal.

“I have carpet burns on my knees!”

– “Good. I hope you like them”.