So far K, my fuck buddy had been a bit unreliable. After a string of sexy pics exchanged via text (mine, very awkward, his, mainly of his cock) I told him I needed some more ‘skin time’ before any more of that business would go down. He texted asking if I could meet up on this particular Friday night during which, I was at a friends dance performance so I wasn’t able to contact him until an hour or so later. Too late, he had already found another ‘buddy’ to hang out with. Knowing this was to be expected for a ‘casual’ friendship I stopped in at my favorite bar on the way home.

Drinking my second best beverage, rye whiskey (neat), I had had one plus another was about to leave when a man came and sat next to me. As if he’d known me for years he struck up a conversation and being alone, I was receptive. With his hand placed on my thigh, he was banging on about his job……something about finding ways to save the world, new strategies, moving money to the right aid agencies etc. He used terms that were so abstract I really never did find out what exactly it is he does. During this extreme cacophony of chin music he took a $5 bill out of his wallet and in demonstration exclaimed ‘Look at this five dollars… I can tear it in 3  (he did) and now it’s useless! Well, you can still take it to a bank and they’ll accept it but now what’s it good for?’ I never really understood the point but I knew it was about to if it hadn’t already become weird.

We went outside to the back garden and he told me he wanted to kiss me. ‘Ok.’ I said. A guy like this could never touch the contents. When he was kissing me he grabbed my hair.

A little aside here: I love having my hair pulled. Don’t even ask why, I just do.

Again seated at the bar I knew I couldn’t drink any more. ‘I’m off’ I said. ‘Hold on! if we were in a a different time or place’….. he began. ‘We’d fuck?’ I finished his sentence. ‘Well, come on then.’ He followed me out the door. I had picked up the old fashioned way, making out at a bar. What are the odds in NYC? I was thrilled.

Back at the apartment he settled himself into the couch while I used the bathroom. When I came back he had two glasses of water sitting on the coffee table. ‘What are you doing on the couch?’ I asked. ‘Get your gear off and get into bed.’ To which he obeyed.

We rolled around naked for a bit and he touched me in many places. We kissed (he) talked, we tried. But try as we did he just couldn’t get it up. This created an unfortunate scenario where the five dollar man felt the need to prove himself. ‘It’s ok. You don’t need to do this’ I assured him ‘but I want to’ he said.

I wasn’t sure if I could be that patient.

We were approaching 3 am and I wanted to go to sleep. ‘Really, I am emotionally unavailable’ and I meant it. ‘Oh no. Surely I can open you up?’ and so it went on. I don’t want to sound unkind and I truly think he was a nice man but I wanted it to be over.

At 5:30 AM he finally jumped in the shower and prepared himself to leave. ‘I thought we could exchange numbers?’ he tentatively asked. ‘That’s not going to happen’ I said.

Later, talking to P she commented that I could have ‘finessed that situation a little bit better’. This made me realize  a. I had a heart of stone (thinking most likely at this stage) or b. Had to chose my paramours more wisely.

I have not seen him even coincidentally since.