After I’d fucked the carpenter, we sat at the bar. Here I was introduced to the A team that ran the place. Tony was the founder and head honcho. Then there was Ponytail Tony (self titled) who did the coat check (necessary) and the icing on the cake, Massage Tony. Massage Tony approached me to let me know he was now open for business. ‘It’s all part of the service but you can tip if you like’. My heart leapt at the thought of a massage. ‘Can you give me a proper massage?’ Looking back now, I can see how this could be misconstrued. He got my meaning however, and we went to another public space and completely nude except for a tiny towel covering my ass I received one of the best massages I’ve ever had.

Afterward he handed me his card and let me know that normally he provides an extra service. Right. of course. I felt like a dunce. Being a good networker though, I informed him that there may be quite a few Park Slope moms who would be interested in a home visit. I put his card in my bag.

By the time I had finished the carpenter had already found a woman for us to share. I was all fine with that. But he was still gabbing on trying to get to know me. What, is this a talk show? I was ready to leave when the targeted woman approached us and we retreated to another bed area. She was lovely. A little Latina which nice breasts, I was happy to indulge her. She had the type of hair you could wrap around your arm and she knew what she was doing. I went down on her, she went down on me and we repeated that sequence a few times while the carpenter fucked her then me and he was done. She and I kept going. She really did have the most lovely breasts.

Now I have to say. Guys, hats of to you. I always feel like I’m inadequate when it comes to cunnilingus and this was no exception. I just go for it thinking I know what I’m doing and as long as she’s making the right noises I assume I’m doing fine. But you never really know do you?

Also she called me ‘mami’ a lot which, is all good but it sounds like mommy to me and being a mother the last thing I want to think about is my kids. I looked up at one stage and we were surrounded by men. Two of them had their dicks in their hands, masturbating. I paused. Hmmm. I guess that’s what we’re all here for so I shouldn’t complain but it felt a bit like seeing the skeevy guy at the bus stop who unexpectedly (and like a car crash, you can’t look away) shows you his penis. We kissed and kissed again. I liked her. But we were done and for the second time that night I pulled my little black dress on and zipped up my boots.

I said goodbye to Ponytail Tony and tipped her generously as I claimed my coat and bag. The carpenter was following me but I had no time for that. I marched outside and stood near the mysterious doorman waiting for a taxi or car.

‘I’d like to see you again.’

Could this be for real? ‘No I’m not doing that’.

‘Can I wait with you?’

‘No please. Just. Go’

‘That’s what I thought you’d say’

I climbed into a taxi, took myself home, texted R and poured myself a scotch. I contemplated the evening. Aside from overtures made by the carpenter it was a good place to have anonymous sex and most definitely no one touched the contents but I thought I could do better and maybe it was time to find someone who could go with me so that we could navigate this strange land together.