My friend S told me about a dating app called Tinder.

I dismissed it initially because it uses your Facebook to upload information. I didn’t want anyone seeing my daily life, the life I share with my family. It turns out to be much more rudimentary than that. You can use a few pics from Facebook and some of your interests and thats it. No posts, no other details you (often unnecessarily) share with others  .

Tinder is an app that works like a flip book. You browse through photos of people that match your criteria (age and location). You swipe to the left to dismiss someone NOPE or to the right to add them to your collection LIKED. If you LIKED someone and they LIKED you then you are allowed to message one another. Once you swipe left you never ever see that persons profile/pic again. So you see, you have to be choosy, it’s utterly superficial and shallow. For example, I have accidentally swiped left (NOPE) many times out of habit never to see the profile again. But there are thousands on there so you get into the mindset of a kid in a candy shop. It’s similar to walking down a busy street assessing passer by’s as if you could have them all. Nope, yep, nope nope… based on spurious factors. It reminds me of how the men in my life have often behaved as though they could own any car they liked. ‘Well, a Camaro is all good but you can’t beat a Holden Special’ while I know full well there isn’t a snowball’s chance in hell they could have either. I would recommend Tinder to anyone for sport alone. I allowed several women friends to play with my Tinder because it is so fun. Nope, nope, nope, liked…. It’s addictive. It’s something you do at a bar while you’re waiting for your friends to turn up and it feels harmless. No one is getting hurt.

I had been on Tinder for a day and there were 30 ‘matches’. I plucked two out of the bunch. One was Marvin (not his real name, R just never could remember his name so he was stuck with it as far as we were concerned) who looked like a big version of Lenny Kravitz. The guy was huge and gorgeous. Then by some weird science there was Jack, someone who I couldn’t really see properly but had chops as far as messaging was concerned, he was witty and that goes a long way with me.

I had set a date with Marvin on Sunday stating the usual: I don’t date, I don’t want a boyfriend you don’t get to touch the contents he seemed to understand and we were good to go. Little did I know…