I had been out to dinner with P and Legs on a Tuesday night. She has great taste in food and chose a spot that was perfect.
It was a glorious night weather wise. A slight nip in the middle of Summer. Perfect.
When I got home I flopped on the couch and jumped on Tinder. I found TD and we made a new match. He messaged me straight away. He had just flown in from Miami and was “sitting around playing music with his best friend.”
He invited me to join them and after a (little bit) of umming and arring on my part I agreed. I took a car and picked up some beer on the way.
When I reached my destination I hesitated. It was a warehouse in Fort Greene near the Navy Yards on a deserted street full of other warehouses. My ideas of a couple of friendly guys sitting around a fire in their backyard were entirely invented by me or at least, I didn’t have the full picture. He greeted me at the door and we went upstairs to the most elaborate bachelor pad: a pool table, big projection, instruments everywhere, dirty kitchen, the works. I sat down and put on my best face. There were 3 guys there including TD. In fact, they were all Dominican and yes, they were playing music, they were sweet really. Amazed that I would go to a stranger’s house in the middle of the night, they thought I was pretty laid back, a cool girl.
Then TD and I played what I have to say was the worst game of pool in my life. He asked me what types of recreational drugs I partake in and I said booze, sometimes pot, sometimes blow. That was the signal. He whipped out a bag of coke and I had a bump. I could see it was decent stuff, not cut with speed.
He was definitely sexy. Sexy in a way that a proper man is. He defined self sufficiency. He knew who he was and that made me feel safe. After all that shit with E I knew I couldn’t be with a man who was that insecure again, probably ever. We talked and danced even. We kissed and it was magical. The chemistry was definitely there, the indefinable “it” factor. It hovered between us. He told me I was beautiful and asked if I thought the same. Most definitely yes. When you’ve been tip toeing for so long and you feel that you’ve lost yourself then someone comes along who just takes you over it’s…. grand in the biggest sense. He told me who I was and I needed to be told. He snuggled into me on the couch, he kissed me, he touched me in all the right ways, little things: he held his cigarette to my lips, we shared whiskey from the same glass. I was being fed. I wanted it. Him. For the night at least.
At around 2am I told him I had to go. Obviously then the next step was to go to his room and have sex. We started with kissing and again it was all there, hyper real and charged. When we lay down he told me he wanted to “make love”. This is not a word that I use ordinarily unless I’m in love but I liked the idea of feelings playing a part in this, I liked that he said it. In any other situation it would have sounded ridiculous to me. And so we did. It was deeply passionate with lots of kissing and caressing. Instead of all the coke and booze it was as though we had taken ecstasy. It was exiting, we were magnetized, we pulsed together. However unreal the situation may have seemed we were both experiencing the same intensity.
I took a car home and flopped into bed for only two hours before the boys came home. Surprisingly, I felt fine.
This divorce was working out pretty well.